Leadership, eh?

(This is my essay on my perception of leadership. A requirement somewhere, somewhen)    

            Sa ilang oras na pagbaling-baling ko sa higaan, sa bawat gabing hindi makatulog sa panunood ng anime sa pag-asang makahanap ng mga kasagutan, sa ilang araw na pagkausap sa sarili at pagmumuni-muni ng mga naging karanasan, wala pa ring katiyakan kung aking mabibigyang katarungan ang isang payak subalit mahiwagang katanungan – na hindi ko na kailangan pang isa-isahin sa kadahilanang lubha itong mahaba, nasa wikang Ingles at nasa Facebook naman. Naman! Hindi ba’t pormal dapat ang aking pagsusulat? Subalit ipagpaumanhin mo at ‘di ko na mapigilan ang paggapang ng aking mga kamay sa aking ulunan at mangamot, sapagkat  ako’y labis na nagugulumihanan, oo, ako’y sadya pa ring nag-aalinlangan.  .  .

            Labimpitong taon na pala akong humihinga sa bilog na mundong ito, pero ni minsan hindi ko man lang pinagka-abalahang tanungin ang aking sarili kung ano at hanggang saan na nga ba ang aking nalalaman sa aspeto ng pamumuno at ng isang pagiging pinuno. Ano na nga ba ang naging impakto este epekto nito sa lakad-takbo ng aking buhay. Siguro naiinis ka na, ‘no? Ang dami ko nang pag-aantalang ginawa, wala pa rin akong nalalagay na makabuluhan. Hiling ko lang ay iyong maunawaan na basahin ang hindi nababasa, ngunit ‘wag kang mag-alala, aalalayan kita, bibigyan kita ng implikasyon at patnubay. Haaay! Epal ko talaga. Epal na nga, barubal pa magsulat!

            Leadership. Leadership. Mmmm… Ipakita mo sa ‘kin ang iyong tunay na kaanyuan! Toinks! Ano daw? Epekto ‘ata ng anime ‘yan eh, tsk, tsk! Haiss! Seryoso na nga.

            Ako, si hulaan mo, isang bata. Ngunit bata pa bang dapat na tawagin? Sa edad kong ito, pakiramdam ko napag-iiwanan na ‘ko ng mga kasabayan ko . . . noon pero malamang ‘di na ngayon, ang layo na nila, wari’y ‘di ko na sila maaninag. Basta. Naniniwala akong ang mahalaga ay importante! Tama! Maniwala ka lang at gagawa ang kalawakan ng landas na para sa iyo lamang. Natutuwa talaga ako at nakilala ko si Naruto, dahil paano ako magkakaroon ng sarili kong depinisyon ng leadership kung walang tao na siyang uukit sa puso ko ng depinisyon nito. Hindi ba’t ang tatlong katanungan ay may iisang layunin lamang, at iyon ay ang makilala kaming mga hangal na nagnanais na maging susunod na mamumuno ng **tooot*** sa kabila ng kaalamang labis-labis na hirap at sakripisyo ang aming pagdadaanan ng nakayapak, walang saplot at walang sandata maliban sa aming mga nag-aalab na pusong nagnanais maisakatuparan ang tila kahangalan at walang-kwentang pangarap na ito. Maaaring tama kayo sa iniisip niyo. Ano bang mapapala namin sa pagwawaldas ng oras at enerhiya sa mga training namin? Marami. Positibo. Negatibo. Tama lang. Wala lang. Depende sa ‘min.

…ROMEO…

            (A journal entry I made when I was in 2nd year high school - - - re: Romeo's Blue Skies/ Mga Munting Pangarap ni Romeo. Grabe lang. This was one of my favorite shows noong bata pa 'ko. Sana ibalik nila =( Huhu. Naiiyak pa rin ako. Super recommended ko 'tong ipanood sa mga kids. Isa sa mga inspiration ko rin until now. P.S. Sorry sa wrong grammar or bad English, di ko na in-edit ulit. Katams eh. Haha)

          “Oh! Romeo!” Maybe, you’re thinking of Romeo and Juliet but ah! ah! It’s not what you think. For sure by now you’re curious why Romeo, if it’s not related to the popular novel written by William Shakespeare. Well, it’s because Romeo is one of my favorite cartoons (you know! I’m an “otaku” or anime lover! Yeah!) Have you watched “Mga Munting Pangarap ni Romeo” which was aired in ABS-CBN last summer? If your answer is ‘yes’, well you’re very lucky and thank you for watching! Hehehe! But if ‘no’, oh! Poor jerk! (just kidding!).

            The story is about Romeo who is kind, hard-working and loving son. His age is probably thirteen years old. He belongs to a poor family and they only have one small farm of corn. Unfortunately, it was burned during the festival in their town. His father got sick and they have no money to pay a doctor, so he decided to sell himself to Louini, the man who buys boy children to sell in Miland, also for them to work, particularly, to clean chimneys.

OK Fine, You’re The Boss!

         Once my favorite teacher said, “Be humble.” And before I left she whispered “Stay humble.” Define humble. The dictionary defines humility as modesty, lacking pretense, not believing that you are superior to others. An additional definition contains: "Having a lowly opinion of oneself; meekness". Well, the word "humility" first struck me in the context of respect, humility in the lives of the students, of teachers, and how the word respect existed between the two. Let me share with you the series of things that has been swarming in the cerebrum of my brain and in the four chambers of my heart.

       Your four years of stay high school has taught you the two sides of humility in partnership with respect.  As a freshie student by that time, adaptation was the hardest thing you’ve to handle. You have had to listen well to the rules and regulations so you won’t be reprimanded. Now, there goes obedience, especially to your teachers who seemed to see you like sheep without a shepherd, and thought that they were good enough to accept the preordained task. Conform to everything they ask you to do and surely you’ll pass to be a sophie.

       Moving on, you’re on your second year in high school and of course you’ve gained profounder intellect and a teenager like you started somehow screeching for your rights, knowing that students have this thing called Magna Carta. Though you didn’t quite well understand the contents of that thing, for you even haven’t read a page of it, others say that it defends your being human and student, so you gradually learned how to furtively disobey some, yes,  some of those do’s and don’ts, thinking that it’s just for the meantime. 

        And as you became a junior student, all I could say was “what happened to you?” Complacently, you answered back - It wasn't until quite late in life that I discovered how easy it is to say "I don't know!" So that’s it, you’re acting dumb. Wow, isn’t that great? You’re proving that no one could ever stop you, could ever let you do things you do not somewhat like. Still, there’s that big difference between innocent and acting-innocent-turned-into-ignorant. You considered this year of your high school life as the most memorable one. The hell I care was the thing you repeatedly say.

"The Voice From Within"

              This was created  almost 4 years ago. I made this for my cousin's birthday.  ~(‾⌣‾~)

Maybe it's now too late

You've already done blowing your cake

You know, this is what I hate

But I'll do this for your sake.

To you I say "Happy Birthday"

Hey girl, why don't you shout "Hooray!"

'Coz you should be celebrating all day

Let your sadness and worries be away.

You know, all my life, I'll never forget you

You're a one-in-a-million girl, I bet it's true

For you're the reason why my eyes aren't blue

You're an angel sent from heaven, oh god, thank you!

I Hate You Fornever

           I’m back to writing. And I’m writing to tell you you’ve captured my heart. To heck with cheesy intros, to curse with writing styles, this is me, writing! Actually I’m already speaking, and declaring to humankind that, yes, I’ve fallen in love with you. I don’t know how it happened. Well, I actually darn know how, I’m just shy to talk about it. But since I believe in crossing the bridge when you get there, now I’m here, I’ll do it for you.

            It was out of the blue when my self-deprivation from falling in trap, I mean love, did really happen. Argh! You just don’t helluva know how your smiles suddenly make my heart beat a leap, how your laughters suddenly make me breathless and how your nonchalant looks suddenly make my day. For old time’s sake, we even did some group works together, we even held each other’s hands, well during presentations only –awwww- and that we even share the same likeness of a band, what a bond!

BUGTONG (insights sa Fil 50 ulit)

Part I

          Bisikleta. Iyan ang sagot sa bugtong sa pahina 964 na - “It has come from a far place, but has only one footprint.”  Noong una iyang bugtong na iyan ang pinili ko kasi mahilig talaga akong mag-bisikleta, simpleng dahilan lang, wala nang iba pang pakahulugan sa akin. Pero sa pagmumuni-muni ko, napa “oo nga ‘no” ako. 

         Parang isang bisikleta pala tayo. Sakyan man tayo ng napakaraming mga pagsubok, tapak-tapakan ng ibang tao, ‘maflat-an’ ng gulong sa ating paglalakbay, maputulan ng kadena sa sobrang pagmamadali, bumulusok man tayo pababa dahil hindi na talaga kaya ng ‘brake,’ o tipong hindi na natin kailangang i-pedal dahil awtomatiko na tayong umaandar at minsan inaakay na lang tayo sa halip na sakyan, lahat ng iyan okay lang kasi alam nating kahit papaano may naiiwan tayong marka sa mundo.

       Isang tanda na minsan, sa isang partikular na panahon sa mundo, ay nabuhay at namuhay ang isang katulad natin. At bawat isa sa atin ay may kanya-kanyang marka, walang maaaring umangkin kasi lahat tayo magkakaiba. At tulad ng isang bisikleta, kailangang may nagpapaandar sa atin kung ayaw nating mabulok na lang at makalimutan na ng sanlibutan.

        Kung sino man iyan ay iba iba rin, madalas paiba-iba, minsan masaya tayo kasi mga inspirasyon natin sa buhay nagpapatakbo sa atin, pero minsan naman hindi natin namamalayang iyong mga ‘kalaban’ na pala nagmamaneho sa atin kaya tuloy naliligaw tayo, kinakalawang at nasisira. Pwede rin namang tayo at ang bisikleta ay iisa, basta ang mahalaga, sana maging kapaki-pakinabang ang mga markang iiwan natin.

Isang Trip Kong I-Share na Parang Ewan Lang na Video. Haha. Kasi May Bike Eh xD

Salawikain (insights for my Fil 50 subject. lols)

Part I           

              Sa labis na kapal ng libro at sa ubod ng daming salawikain na napakaloob dito, nakatawag pansin sa akin ang salawikain na ito mula sa pahina 223 - “Mabuti ang bungang bubot, kaysa sa hinog na mayroon laman na uod.” 

                Ito ay tumutukoy sa bunga, hindi bilang hinog na obaryo ng isang halaman, bagkus ay bunga bilang resulta ng ating mga aksiyon sa ilalim ng ibat ibang pangyayari o kalagayan. Naniniwala ako na hindi sa tuwina nabibigyang katarungan ng bunga ang mga paraan na ginamit o ginawa natin makamtan lamang ang isang bagay. 

            Bilang isang mag-aaral, isang taong puno ng mga ambisyon sa buhay, isang batang inaasahan ng lubusan ng mga magulang, at isang iskolar ng bayan na sa tuwina’y hinuhusgahan, isang malaki at matamis na ‘bunga’ ang tila akala nilang ganoon na lang kadaling makamtan. 

             Napakalaking hamon nito para sa atin kaya’t madalas ay natutukso tayong kagatin ang mga nakaka-engganyong ‘short cut’ tungo sa tagumpay. Halimbawa, aanhin mo ang uno kung alam mong kinopya mo lang ang sulatin mo sa ibang tao. Mas masarap sa pakiramdam ang gradong alam mo sa sarili mo na dugo’t pawis ang pinuhunan mo. 

           Tiyakin mo lang na hindi man ganoon kalaki at katamis ang bungang nakamtan mo, ibinigay mo naman ang lahat-lahat ng makakaya mo. Sapagkat hindi sapat na dahilan ang ‘at least malinis ang kunsensiya ko’ sa bubot na bunga mo kung ikaw pala sa sarili mo ay nagkaroon ng pagpapabaya at mga pagkukulang.

I Saw How She Died

(This is a poem I created 3 years ago)

A new day for her is an added burden

For she’s no longer the cheerful maiden

She’s there trapped in the old hospital den

Been crying and wailing and waiting since then.

What can I do, I asked myself

And found a book inside a shelf

My mind whispered this could help

Though my luck is merely size of an elf.

With faith I started marching towards her

And landed my feet beside the drawer

Though the room was a complete macabre

I opted to move few inches closer.